“A critical skill for many creative women is discernment – knowing whose advice is from the heart and really meant to be helpful, and avoiding folks who pull you away from your intentions and may be trying to undermine your achievement.”
I can thank my mother for my self-confidence. Self-doubt and self-destruction, saboterus that Gail McMeekin discusses in her sixth chapter of the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor, are saboteurs with which I do not grapple. I speak up for myself and have been dubbed aggressive in the workplace. I would, however, argue that I am assertive, as opposed to aggressive. Writer Rebecca West’s quote really resonated with me:
“People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that distinguish me from a doormat.”
My assertiveness hasn’t stopped from seeking the approval of others though. Through the years, I’ve learned that it’s important to hear other’s opinions, especially those who have expertise in your field of study. I’m confident but not arrogant enough to think that my work and ideas are perfect. So, I typically seek the advice of and input from others before making a major decision. Bouncing ideas off of others has been invaluable in my professional and personal life! What I’ve also learned through the years though, was that some people are quick to criticize and undermine your work/decision without explaining why or offering ways another/better suggestion... saboteurs as McMeekin calls them.
I remember being super-excited about a workshop I conducted. I received really favorable feedback from my attendees. I shared this with my Director and explained that I would like to talk to her about conducting future trainings, especially since I received requests from other agencies to train their staff. Her response: It’s such a small piece in the larger scheme of things, Erika. I guess it’s something we can talk about. However, she proceeded to change the subject. And before I knew it, I was dismissed from her office. Miss Confident Erika’s feelings were crushed. All I could think of was my child running into my room and saying, “Mommy, look what I did! Can I make another picture?” and me responding, “I guess. It’s not that big of a deal though.”
I sulked for a minute (ok, a day or two) and decided I would continue with the workshops with or without the support of my Director – outside of work though! In fact, I’m conducting the same workshop for another agency after hours in early March. Yes, I will continue to seek the advice of others, but like McMeekin points out, “we can listen to everything we hear, but then it’s important to sort it out realistically, learn what we need to do, and discard the rest. Not everyone is going to understand what we’re up to.” My thought is my Director failed to recognize the value of my work and creative expression through the workshop. I refused to allow that to stop me from doing what I love and what I deem as important in helping others in their work. Discernment meets determination!
Showing posts with label Book Blogging Group. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Book Blogging Group. Show all posts
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Secret 5: Committing to Self-Focus
“Many women fear appearing or actually being selfish if they commit to their creative work.”
I can understand why many women may feel this way. Females are often raised to serve others, as Gail McMeekin points out in the fifth chapter of the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor. She also points out that a creative outlet while raising children protects her and her children from great unhappiness and stress. I would argue that the same holds true for one’s spouse.
When I was on a creative hiatus, I found myself looking to my husband for my overall happiness, entertainment, physical and mental stimulation. On days when he was tired or simply wanted to be alone, I found myself twiddling my thumbs and eventually harassing him, “Are you ready to talk? What do you want to do? Lets do something.” If he didn’t feel like talking or going out, I became bored and annoyed. Not only was I frustrated, but I was aggravating him as well. I learned a valuable lesson: never depend on someone for your overall happiness. Through my writing, especially poetry, I am mentally stimulated, entertained, and often able to release bottled up hurt feelings from my childhood. Who knew, something as simple as writing, could be such a wonderful and healthy outlet.
McMeekin mentions “putting yourself on top of the priority list.” This is the first time in my reading the book that I disagree with the author. As a wife and mother, I don’t deem myself as the “priority.” Instead, I hold each role (mother, wife, individual) with equal weight – each are equally number one priorities. Thus, I ensure that I maintain a healthy balance of mommy-child, husband-wife, and me time. And on occasions when there’s imbalance, my husband and children are sure to alert me, as well they should. Nothing like checks and balances!
I can understand why many women may feel this way. Females are often raised to serve others, as Gail McMeekin points out in the fifth chapter of the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor. She also points out that a creative outlet while raising children protects her and her children from great unhappiness and stress. I would argue that the same holds true for one’s spouse.
When I was on a creative hiatus, I found myself looking to my husband for my overall happiness, entertainment, physical and mental stimulation. On days when he was tired or simply wanted to be alone, I found myself twiddling my thumbs and eventually harassing him, “Are you ready to talk? What do you want to do? Lets do something.” If he didn’t feel like talking or going out, I became bored and annoyed. Not only was I frustrated, but I was aggravating him as well. I learned a valuable lesson: never depend on someone for your overall happiness. Through my writing, especially poetry, I am mentally stimulated, entertained, and often able to release bottled up hurt feelings from my childhood. Who knew, something as simple as writing, could be such a wonderful and healthy outlet.
McMeekin mentions “putting yourself on top of the priority list.” This is the first time in my reading the book that I disagree with the author. As a wife and mother, I don’t deem myself as the “priority.” Instead, I hold each role (mother, wife, individual) with equal weight – each are equally number one priorities. Thus, I ensure that I maintain a healthy balance of mommy-child, husband-wife, and me time. And on occasions when there’s imbalance, my husband and children are sure to alert me, as well they should. Nothing like checks and balances!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Secret 4: Surrendering to Creative Cycles
“Burnout is the key enemy of innovation.”
The fourth chapter of Gail McMeekin's The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor made so much sense I could barely contain myself! McMeekin covered a lot of ground in this chapter, but what resonated with me the most was the idea that when we have time off and peace of mind, ideas are often born.
I remember going to school full-time and working full-time. I didn’t have a free minute in the day to even think about being creative. On the weekends I was catching up on sleep and studying. And to top things off, I was also planning a wedding! After the wedding came the new job. Then the twin boys. As things slowed down at home, the pace picked up at work. In the midst of the chaos, I was lucky enough to indulge in professional development…in Miami, Florida! My oh-so-wonderful grandmother offered to take care of my twin boys for a week so that my husband could join me. I worked during the day and we played at night. Miami was just the breath of fresh air that I needed to relax my burnout brain.
McMeekin mentioned Entrepreneur Joline Godfrey and her former partner in this chapter and explained how they had a corporate policy of taking at least one week’s vacation each quarter for peace of mind so that ideas could be birthed. Sweet. I don’t have the luxury of taking a week’s vacation every quarter; however, my husband and I schedule at least one day off from work every month. Every once in awhile, one of us will take the children for a few hours on the weekend for alone time. Both scenarios have been tremendously helpful to our marriage, our children, and has positively contributed to our productivity at work! And for me, the creativity is stimulated when I have a clear head coupled with physical and mental rest. I’ve been able to maintain my prose and poetry blog and even initiate great ideas for projects at work.
As McMeekin stated, “We all need time between cycles to rest and fill ourselves up again with fresh dreams and energy.”
The fourth chapter of Gail McMeekin's The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor made so much sense I could barely contain myself! McMeekin covered a lot of ground in this chapter, but what resonated with me the most was the idea that when we have time off and peace of mind, ideas are often born.
I remember going to school full-time and working full-time. I didn’t have a free minute in the day to even think about being creative. On the weekends I was catching up on sleep and studying. And to top things off, I was also planning a wedding! After the wedding came the new job. Then the twin boys. As things slowed down at home, the pace picked up at work. In the midst of the chaos, I was lucky enough to indulge in professional development…in Miami, Florida! My oh-so-wonderful grandmother offered to take care of my twin boys for a week so that my husband could join me. I worked during the day and we played at night. Miami was just the breath of fresh air that I needed to relax my burnout brain.
McMeekin mentioned Entrepreneur Joline Godfrey and her former partner in this chapter and explained how they had a corporate policy of taking at least one week’s vacation each quarter for peace of mind so that ideas could be birthed. Sweet. I don’t have the luxury of taking a week’s vacation every quarter; however, my husband and I schedule at least one day off from work every month. Every once in awhile, one of us will take the children for a few hours on the weekend for alone time. Both scenarios have been tremendously helpful to our marriage, our children, and has positively contributed to our productivity at work! And for me, the creativity is stimulated when I have a clear head coupled with physical and mental rest. I’ve been able to maintain my prose and poetry blog and even initiate great ideas for projects at work.
As McMeekin stated, “We all need time between cycles to rest and fill ourselves up again with fresh dreams and energy.”
Friday, January 23, 2009
Secret 3: Following Your Fascinations
My passion meets my vocation…
In my eagerness to immerse myself in all that is creative and literary, I began my journey for a new career path. What I learned during this voyage was that I lacked the writing experience. Sure, folks have told me that I was an exceptional writer, but where was my portfolio? I had two choices:
(1) take an entry-level writing position, ultimately resulting in a severe pay cut, but gaining the experience and building my portfolio in the blissful world of writing, or
(2) write freelance in my spare time, slowly gaining experience and building my portfolio.
Option 1 was my preference, my creative impulse. But as Gail McMeekin’s points out in the third chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor, choice 2 would ultimately negatively impact others…my family, thus a negative, impulsive risk.
“There are two kinds of risks: impulsive risks and calculated risks.”
With childcare expenses that are equivalent to a mortgage payment, it would be virtually impossible for me to take a severe pay cut, especially in this economy. Asking my husband to take a second job was also out of the question. When would he have time to spend with his children and me?
So…I opted for scenario 2. And for the past few years, I have been fortunate enough to obtain several writing gigs that have allowed me to gain diverse writing experiences, while supplementing my income! But for me, it still wasn’t enough. I desperately wanted my passion as my vocation…full-time. So, I decided to take a positive risk, one that McMeekin describes as challenging yourself, following creative hunches, testing your strengths, and initiating a plan of action.
I embarked on a plan of action that would allow me to infuse my creativity and passion for writing into my current position (Program Officer managing the state’s after-school initiative).
First, I thought of ways that I could utilize my writing more in my position (e.g., prepare and disseminate a quarterly newsletter) and shared my ideas with my supervisor. I was also vocal about my personal interests in poetry and the arts (with just about anyone and everyone that would listen). When the opportunity to attend a United States Department of Education sponsored-training on after-school and the arts arose, I jumped on it. As a part of the training, I would be responsible for turn-keying this information to the state’s after-school programs. Of course, I was more than happy to agree to conduct trainings with our after-school programs regarding the importance of arts in education, particularly in after-school programs.
Next thing I knew, my supervisor approached me about conducting a workshop on infusing poetry into after-school programs at a regional conference! I jumped on that, too. That has resulted in me connecting with other like-minded individuals, along with requests to conduct the same workshop for other agencies. My supervisor has been open to projects surrounding poetry and the arts, as related to after-school programs, especially since national research supports the need for the arts in after-school programs (which I was more than happy to supply to her). Research has shown the arts to have value to learning and academic achievement, as well as to self-confidence and reaching disengaged youth.
So long as I am able to maintain my current workload, I can continue to work on arts-related projects, as related to after-school programs. And that works for me, because it hardly seems like extra work.
In my eagerness to immerse myself in all that is creative and literary, I began my journey for a new career path. What I learned during this voyage was that I lacked the writing experience. Sure, folks have told me that I was an exceptional writer, but where was my portfolio? I had two choices:
(1) take an entry-level writing position, ultimately resulting in a severe pay cut, but gaining the experience and building my portfolio in the blissful world of writing, or
(2) write freelance in my spare time, slowly gaining experience and building my portfolio.
Option 1 was my preference, my creative impulse. But as Gail McMeekin’s points out in the third chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor, choice 2 would ultimately negatively impact others…my family, thus a negative, impulsive risk.
“There are two kinds of risks: impulsive risks and calculated risks.”
With childcare expenses that are equivalent to a mortgage payment, it would be virtually impossible for me to take a severe pay cut, especially in this economy. Asking my husband to take a second job was also out of the question. When would he have time to spend with his children and me?
So…I opted for scenario 2. And for the past few years, I have been fortunate enough to obtain several writing gigs that have allowed me to gain diverse writing experiences, while supplementing my income! But for me, it still wasn’t enough. I desperately wanted my passion as my vocation…full-time. So, I decided to take a positive risk, one that McMeekin describes as challenging yourself, following creative hunches, testing your strengths, and initiating a plan of action.
I embarked on a plan of action that would allow me to infuse my creativity and passion for writing into my current position (Program Officer managing the state’s after-school initiative).
First, I thought of ways that I could utilize my writing more in my position (e.g., prepare and disseminate a quarterly newsletter) and shared my ideas with my supervisor. I was also vocal about my personal interests in poetry and the arts (with just about anyone and everyone that would listen). When the opportunity to attend a United States Department of Education sponsored-training on after-school and the arts arose, I jumped on it. As a part of the training, I would be responsible for turn-keying this information to the state’s after-school programs. Of course, I was more than happy to agree to conduct trainings with our after-school programs regarding the importance of arts in education, particularly in after-school programs.
Next thing I knew, my supervisor approached me about conducting a workshop on infusing poetry into after-school programs at a regional conference! I jumped on that, too. That has resulted in me connecting with other like-minded individuals, along with requests to conduct the same workshop for other agencies. My supervisor has been open to projects surrounding poetry and the arts, as related to after-school programs, especially since national research supports the need for the arts in after-school programs (which I was more than happy to supply to her). Research has shown the arts to have value to learning and academic achievement, as well as to self-confidence and reaching disengaged youth.
So long as I am able to maintain my current workload, I can continue to work on arts-related projects, as related to after-school programs. And that works for me, because it hardly seems like extra work.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Secret 2: Honoring Your Inspirations
“If you are out of touch with your inspired self, making a date to connect opens the window.”
So many women have lost touch with their creative voice. Why? In the second chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor by Gail McMeekin, she points out that too many women are overwhelmed by the awesome responsibilities of home, work, and relationships…consequently, losing touch with their creative voice. I found myself among this group of women not too long ago and as a result, I was restless and stir-crazy. While I find comfort in life’s daily routines, without a creative outlet feelings of stagnation and boredom creep in.
So, what can women do to find their creative voice again? McMeekin advises women to reserve at least 15 minutes of quiet time every day to listen to our thoughts in a creative sanctuary. Select a method for capturing images (e.g., writing, taping, drawing, role-playing) and answer the question: What is your intuition urging you to explore or experience?
This “daily date with my creative voice” has definitely allowed me to soar creatively and express what’s on my mind and in my heart. Typically, on weekends, when my husband and twin boys are fast asleep, and I’m alone with my thoughts, the creative waves begin to rise. And I find myself writing about the same topic until I “feel better.”
Writing has truly helped my mind stay alert, aided in managing the stressors in my life, prevented boredom, and has allowed me to strengthen my connection with loved ones. I can tell my husband, “I love you,” but to express to him via poetry the ways in which he is my soul mate has spoken volumes! I can tell my best friend, “work will get better; continue to vent and express yourself.” But inviting her to my monthly open mic poetry group has allowed her to express herself on paper and verbally. In fact, I dubbed her the “secret poet.” She too, has discovered the power of creative expression.
So many women have lost touch with their creative voice. Why? In the second chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor by Gail McMeekin, she points out that too many women are overwhelmed by the awesome responsibilities of home, work, and relationships…consequently, losing touch with their creative voice. I found myself among this group of women not too long ago and as a result, I was restless and stir-crazy. While I find comfort in life’s daily routines, without a creative outlet feelings of stagnation and boredom creep in.
So, what can women do to find their creative voice again? McMeekin advises women to reserve at least 15 minutes of quiet time every day to listen to our thoughts in a creative sanctuary. Select a method for capturing images (e.g., writing, taping, drawing, role-playing) and answer the question: What is your intuition urging you to explore or experience?
This “daily date with my creative voice” has definitely allowed me to soar creatively and express what’s on my mind and in my heart. Typically, on weekends, when my husband and twin boys are fast asleep, and I’m alone with my thoughts, the creative waves begin to rise. And I find myself writing about the same topic until I “feel better.”
Writing has truly helped my mind stay alert, aided in managing the stressors in my life, prevented boredom, and has allowed me to strengthen my connection with loved ones. I can tell my husband, “I love you,” but to express to him via poetry the ways in which he is my soul mate has spoken volumes! I can tell my best friend, “work will get better; continue to vent and express yourself.” But inviting her to my monthly open mic poetry group has allowed her to express herself on paper and verbally. In fact, I dubbed her the “secret poet.” She too, has discovered the power of creative expression.
Secret 1: Acknowledging Your Creative Self
My insatiable passion for writing and poetry has been unleashed…
I hear so many women say, “I’m not the creative type.” In the first chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor by Gail McMeekin, defies this statement by touching on two major points: “we have a creative self waiting to be awakened and amplified” and “the creative impulses of too many women are asleep—dormant, or unacknowledged.” So, the question is: how do we tap into this creativity?
Now before I delve into the first chapter, I want to start out by saying that the first thing that grabbed my attention was McMeekin’s use of quotes. Almost every page contains a quote by a writer, poet, artist, etc., related to evoking our creative spirits. The quotes were distracting, in a good way…I found myself peeking ahead to read the quotes! A few that truly resonated with me include:
“What you love is a sign from your higher self of what you are to do.” –-Sanaya Roman, Writer
“Making art is a rite of initiation. People change their souls.” –-Julia Cameron, Writer
“Creativity is like a great receptive womb.” –-Lynn V. Andrews, Writer
So, after I surmounted my fascination with the quotes, I was really able to digest McMeekin’s words, which were very uplifting and truly germane to my once dormant and now restored love of creative expression!
McMeekin explained how her battle with chronic fatigue syndrome actually sparked her interest in art, beauty, and creative expression. McMeekin says she was burned out from too much caretaking. But, I wonder if it’s something about tiredness that correlates with the yearning for creativity? I say this because I stirred up my affinity for creative expression shortly after the birth of my twins. I was consistently fatigued and truly experienced sleep deprivation (feeding twins every two hours…yikes!).
My new role as mother was intensely overwhelming. It was my husband who suggested that I “get out and do something.” He recognized my hunger for (creative) brain stimulation, which I responded to with writing and poetry, something I immersed myself in as a child and young adult. I soon realized that my love of poetry and writing were temporarily concealed as a result of a major transition in my life: motherhood. And interestingly enough, like McMeekin’s “Response to Creative Callings,” I was drawn to color. Most people know me as the woman with the “earth-toned wardrobe.” All of a sudden, I started wearing green, purple, and orange tops! (In fact, today I have on a cranberry shirt.)
As the chapter concluded, McMeekin shared how she reconnected with her artistic, intuitive self: painting, writing, decorating, and gardening. She even sought after mentors of advanced creativity and shares their secrets through this book.
I look forward to reading more about how I can “spread my creative wings and ascend to new heights.”
I hear so many women say, “I’m not the creative type.” In the first chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor by Gail McMeekin, defies this statement by touching on two major points: “we have a creative self waiting to be awakened and amplified” and “the creative impulses of too many women are asleep—dormant, or unacknowledged.” So, the question is: how do we tap into this creativity?
Now before I delve into the first chapter, I want to start out by saying that the first thing that grabbed my attention was McMeekin’s use of quotes. Almost every page contains a quote by a writer, poet, artist, etc., related to evoking our creative spirits. The quotes were distracting, in a good way…I found myself peeking ahead to read the quotes! A few that truly resonated with me include:
“What you love is a sign from your higher self of what you are to do.” –-Sanaya Roman, Writer
“Making art is a rite of initiation. People change their souls.” –-Julia Cameron, Writer
“Creativity is like a great receptive womb.” –-Lynn V. Andrews, Writer
So, after I surmounted my fascination with the quotes, I was really able to digest McMeekin’s words, which were very uplifting and truly germane to my once dormant and now restored love of creative expression!
McMeekin explained how her battle with chronic fatigue syndrome actually sparked her interest in art, beauty, and creative expression. McMeekin says she was burned out from too much caretaking. But, I wonder if it’s something about tiredness that correlates with the yearning for creativity? I say this because I stirred up my affinity for creative expression shortly after the birth of my twins. I was consistently fatigued and truly experienced sleep deprivation (feeding twins every two hours…yikes!).
My new role as mother was intensely overwhelming. It was my husband who suggested that I “get out and do something.” He recognized my hunger for (creative) brain stimulation, which I responded to with writing and poetry, something I immersed myself in as a child and young adult. I soon realized that my love of poetry and writing were temporarily concealed as a result of a major transition in my life: motherhood. And interestingly enough, like McMeekin’s “Response to Creative Callings,” I was drawn to color. Most people know me as the woman with the “earth-toned wardrobe.” All of a sudden, I started wearing green, purple, and orange tops! (In fact, today I have on a cranberry shirt.)
As the chapter concluded, McMeekin shared how she reconnected with her artistic, intuitive self: painting, writing, decorating, and gardening. She even sought after mentors of advanced creativity and shares their secrets through this book.
I look forward to reading more about how I can “spread my creative wings and ascend to new heights.”
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Book Blogging Group
For the past few months, I have been posting my favorite music, videos, books, quotes, etc. on Fridays as "Friday Favorites..." blog posts. However, for the next 12 weeks, I will be blogging about The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor, by Gail McMeekin.
The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor (Conari Press, 2000) is an inspirational guidebook that offers 12 practices designed to increase one's creative success and help to achieve one's goals, complete with interviews of Sarah Ban Breathnach, Barbara Sher, Shakti Gawain, Chris Madden, Sigrid Olsen, and 40 other highly creative women.
I'll be reading this book and blogging about it as a part of an online blogging book club. An online blogging book club, huh? Yep. It's a community of bloggers that work their way through a book together, sharing their experiences by posting on their own blog and by reading what other participants are sharing. The blog, Next Chapter: 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, initiated by Jamie Ridler, certified professional co-active coach, is the homebase and will host the blog roll of participants.
I anticipate exploring this inspirational book with like-minded creative spirits! I hope you'll tune in every Friday as I journey through this 12-week exploration of creativity, sharing my experiences and reactions to The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor!
Interested in joining or learning more about this book blogging group? Check out the Next Chapter: 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women blog for the details or contact Jamie Ridler with any questions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
