Saturday, October 22, 2011

Childhood Memories Resurrected

Twin lives spawned six years ago, and
beneath the dappled shades of olive trees
lost in a sea of pine scented air
I dug my fingers into the soil

hands and fingernails
dark like the night
filthy like the childhood memories
I once buried, I now

feverishly tried to unearth
to understand
make sense of it all
opening the box – ambivalently

the images smacked me
in the face. Hard.
Leaving a permanent sting.
A bruise. A scar.

And as much as it hurt
every night
I found myself
back in those woods

on the unbeaten path
opening that box
reliving those childhood memories
over and over again…

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Dear Benjamin

Dear Benjamin,
I apologize

I apologize for denying you
finally accepting you
but not fully wanting you

all because I had
the “perfect life”
and the “perfect body”

couldn’t see past
my flat stomach
and tight ass

to realize that

you were the catalyst
for a change
in my life

a change that
shifted the focus from me
and back to
humming birds, daffodils,
blue skies, love….life

a force so strong
it knocked me off my feet
and when I fell
I became eye level
with two children

two children that
wanted mommy to stay home
skip the gym
play the video game

a force so strong
it knocked the wind out of me
standing back up
just to sit back down
with a man

a man that wanted wifey
to stay home
eff the “social life”
what about the “good life”
our life?

My Benjamin
Sweet Benjamin
adjusted the
weight on my scale

I am balanced

Saturday, October 8, 2011

He Exists

Blood that once flowed
out of darkness
sheltered from the world
connected to me
steady hearts beat
soft words
he feels my peace