Rustling Leaves

rustling
rustling
rustling leaves
on an autumn night

dancing to the sound
of the cool breeze
that cool breeze
that sends a titillating chill
down my spine
and up my skirt

rustling
rustling
rusting leaves
on an autumn night

trapped beneath the
boots of a weary soldier
who still smiles at the
thought of his wife and
her spiced apple crumb cake

rustling
rustling
rusting leaves
on an autumn night

whisked away
only to land on a half eaten
pumpkin neighboring
two over-stuffed chipmunks
complete with
plump pronounced bellies

rustling
rustling
rusting leaves
on an autumn night

too bad I’m alone
something about the air
smells crisp, savory and
causes a bone-chilling
nostalgia

The Apology

I always knew
this day would come
when she would
open that closet door
so tightly bolted
covered in two decades
worth of cobwebs.

No warning, no preparation.
She wasted no time
rambling off the why’s
the “I tried” “did the best I could.”

And one by one
the skeleton bones
tumble out, onto the floor.

You should see me
scrambling to pick
up those old bones
desperately trying
trying…

Get back in the closet,
so neatly arranged.

But there’s just too many.
And they’re too damn heavy.

Stop.
Just stop.

“He hurt me.
You didn’t protect me.
You never loved me.”

I searched her eyes.
And waited.

“I’m sorry. I’ve always loved you.”

Sweat drips off my brow
trickles down the cleavage of my chest.
Mouth so dry,
not Sahara desert dry
cotton ball dry.

My heart’s still beating,
but I can’t move.

The tears fall…

Womb

Routine swift kicks
sharp, long-awaited
he lives. I exhale.

Childhood Memories Resurrected

Twin lives spawned six years ago, and
beneath the dappled shades of olive trees
lost in a sea of pine scented air
I dug my fingers into the soil

hands and fingernails
dark like the night
filthy like the childhood memories
I once buried, I now

feverishly tried to unearth
to understand
make sense of it all
opening the box – ambivalently

the images smacked me
in the face. Hard.
Leaving a permanent sting.
A bruise. A scar.

And as much as it hurt
every night
I found myself
back in those woods

on the unbeaten path
opening that box
reliving those childhood memories
over and over again…

Dear Benjamin

Dear Benjamin,
I apologize

I apologize for denying you
finally accepting you
but not fully wanting you

all because I had
the “perfect life”
and the “perfect body”

couldn’t see past
my flat stomach
and tight ass

to realize that
you

you were the catalyst
for a change
in my life

a change that
shifted the focus from me
and back to
humming birds, daffodils,
blue skies, love….life

a force so strong
it knocked me off my feet
and when I fell
I became eye level
with two children

two children that
wanted mommy to stay home
skip the gym
play the video game

a force so strong
it knocked the wind out of me
standing back up
just to sit back down
with a man

a man that wanted wifey
to stay home
eff the “social life”
what about the “good life”
our life?

My Benjamin
Sweet Benjamin
adjusted the
weight on my scale

I am balanced
again.