Saturday, October 22, 2011

Childhood Memories Resurrected


Twin lives spawned six years ago, and
beneath the dappled shades of olive trees
lost in a sea of pine scented air
I dug my fingers into the soil

hands and fingernails
dark like the night
filthy like the childhood memories
I once buried, I now

feverishly tried to unearth
to understand
make sense of it all
opening the box – ambivalently

the images smacked me
in the face. Hard.
Leaving a permanent sting.
A bruise. A scar.

And as much as it hurt
every night
I found myself
back in those woods

on the unbeaten path
opening that box
reliving those childhood memories
over and over again…

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Dear Benjamin

Dear Benjamin,
I apologize

I apologize for denying you
finally accepting you
but not fully wanting you

all because I had
the “perfect life”
and the “perfect body”

couldn’t see past
my flat stomach
and tight ass

to realize that
you

you were the catalyst
for a change
in my life

a change that
shifted the focus from me
and back to
humming birds, daffodils,
blue skies, love….life

a force so strong
it knocked me off my feet
and when I fell
I became eye level
with two children

two children that
wanted mommy to stay home
skip the gym
play the video game

a force so strong
it knocked the wind out of me
standing back up
just to sit back down
with a man

a man that wanted wifey
to stay home
eff the “social life”
what about the “good life”
our life?

My Benjamin
Sweet Benjamin
adjusted the
weight on my scale

I am balanced
again.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

He Exists

Blood that once flowed
stopped
out of darkness
life
sheltered from the world
insulated
connected to me
indefinitely
steady hearts beat
synched
soft words
linger
he feels my peace
always.