Womb

Routine swift kicks
sharp, long-awaited
he lives. I exhale.

Childhood Memories Resurrected

Twin lives spawned six years ago, and
beneath the dappled shades of olive trees
lost in a sea of pine scented air
I dug my fingers into the soil

hands and fingernails
dark like the night
filthy like the childhood memories
I once buried, I now

feverishly tried to unearth
to understand
make sense of it all
opening the box – ambivalently

the images smacked me
in the face. Hard.
Leaving a permanent sting.
A bruise. A scar.

And as much as it hurt
every night
I found myself
back in those woods

on the unbeaten path
opening that box
reliving those childhood memories
over and over again…

Dear Benjamin

Dear Benjamin,
I apologize

I apologize for denying you
finally accepting you
but not fully wanting you

all because I had
the “perfect life”
and the “perfect body”

couldn’t see past
my flat stomach
and tight ass

to realize that
you

you were the catalyst
for a change
in my life

a change that
shifted the focus from me
and back to
humming birds, daffodils,
blue skies, love….life

a force so strong
it knocked me off my feet
and when I fell
I became eye level
with two children

two children that
wanted mommy to stay home
skip the gym
play the video game

a force so strong
it knocked the wind out of me
standing back up
just to sit back down
with a man

a man that wanted wifey
to stay home
eff the “social life”
what about the “good life”
our life?

My Benjamin
Sweet Benjamin
adjusted the
weight on my scale

I am balanced
again.

He Exists

Blood that once flowed
stopped
out of darkness
life
sheltered from the world
insulated
connected to me
indefinitely
steady hearts beat
synched
soft words
linger
he feels my peace
always.

Let it go

“On no account brood over your wrong-doing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.” -- Aldous Huxley (1894–1963) English writer

Once Mine, Now Yours

As generous as I am
I would have never
relinquished my heart
something so complex,
precious…forever mine.

And it happened
I don’t exactly remember when
the weather was warm
the leaves were still
I recall
the distinct smell of cinnamon
and a hint of lilac.

Piercing,
enigmatic eyes,
matched with
a luring anatomy
attracted me.
Tenderness,
an eagerness to gratify
overwhelmed me.
Sensitivity,
transparency
devoid of atrocities
kept me.

Penetrating
my chest cavity
gingerly touching my heart
today
eternity
my heart:
beats
plump vessels pump blood
mended wounds
eventually fade
full of life
yours.

Wasteful Thinking « Inspiration for your work & life

Avoid some of the most common "drag you down, get in the way of success" thoughts:
(taken from GiveMore)

1. Defeatist (accepting, expecting, or being resigned to defeat)

2. Cynical (contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives)

3. Vindictive (seeking revenge)

4. Blame/ Fault (who cares? what are we going to do now?)

5. Wishful (do what you can to influence the deal/ project/ situation and keep moving)

6. Self-pity (get over yourself… complain less… especially to yourself)

7. Worrisome (it won’t help, costs time, and can drag you down)

8. Jealous (want it? earn it)

9. Pre-argumentative (the imaginary argument you have to prepare yourself for the argument that may never happen)

10. Post-argumentative (the imaginary argument you have where you’re quicker than you were in the actual argument)

11. Procrastinatory (if you’re going to procrastinate, you might as well do something fun instead of thinking about how bad it is that you’re procrastinating… dummy)

Since high school, I have been the master procrastinator. Continuing to work at that! I will conquer it, just you wait.

Just Be Quiet!

I'm always amazed (more annoyed though) by people that criticize folks. I'm even more dumbfounded (and irritated) when they directly offer negative feedback (I can't believe he/she just told me I look chubby!). And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that people are often negative about others because they need to make themselves feel like they're in control or more powerful or to cover up insecurities. Doesn't matter. I still always find myself thinking, "I wish you would just be quiet; you're not perfect."

Perhaps my frustration comes from the fact that I've never been one of those that has been eager to share negative feedback about folks. My mother always told me, "If you don't have anything good to say, than just be quiet." (I'm all for constructive criticism -- providing it, when requested, and accepting it).

If someone tells me that my friend looks like she put on weight, I would never go back and tell her. Why not? Chances are, she already knows. Me telling her would only throw salt on the wound.

On the other hand, if someone tells me something positive about a friend like, "Your girlfriend is so pretty," I would relay that information to her. Why? Because most people like to hear affirming words.

I try to live by my mother's words, and wish others would as well. Here's four simple rules I also follow concerning speech (thanks, Matthew Hagee, for the transcript, click here):

1. Is what you're about to say the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

2. What's your motive behind what you're going to say? Are you going to say it in love or for self-gratification?

3. Will it be something that others can use in their life and grow or is it going to just make me look better?

4. What will my audience do with the information? If what they'll do with what you share with them is something destructive to themselves, you're held accountable for their actions.

And because I know I can't change folks, when I run into negative people, I just make sure I am communicating positively by doing the following:

1. Change the subject, with savvy (e.g., speaking of being fat, on Jillian Michael's Biggest Loser, she shared some great tips on how to avoid overeating).

2. Re-frame negative statements into positive ones (e.g., OMG, she is always talking about her kids and what they do on the weekends. Re-frame: She really loves her children; that's awesome.)

3. Remove yourself (e.g., Well let me go; I have a ton of things to do.)

And remember, a happy, self-confident person does not put others down. Happy Communicating!

My Mantra...

"Dare to be yourself."
André Gide (1869–1951)
French writer, Nobel Prize winner

Father of Mine

I once read that being a father, father involvement, is defined as a man's positive, wide-ranging, and active participation in his child's life (Marsiglio et al., 2000, p. 276). And I couldn't agree more.

Everclear really brings this notion to the forefront in their song, "Father of Mine."

Being a father is more than just naming your child...

As a Mother, I Know...

I know the sweet smell of newborns
who smiled at the recognition of my voice and touch.
I know the true of meaning of selfless.
I know the value of my husband
who steps up and carries my weight when I can’t.
I know what it means to love another more than you love yourself.
I know unconditional love.
I know eternal love.
I know strength, devotion, and patience.
I know that dreams that do come true.
I know life
and thank God for allowing me to play a role in it.

Happy Mother's Day

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
--
Elizabeth Stone

We are influenced by the people with which we surround ourselves...

“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to
live in a circle of those who are.”
--
C.S. Lewis (1898–1963)
Irish writer, scholar

Celebrate National Poetry Month with Poetry on the Porch

National Poetry Month is a month-long, national celebration of poetry established by the Academy of American Poets. The concept is to widen the attention of individuals and the media—to the art of poetry, to living poets, to our complex poetic heritage, and to poetry books and journals of wide aesthetic range and concern. We hope to increase the visibility and availability of poetry in popular culture while acknowledging and celebrating poetry’s ability to sustain itself in the many places where it is practiced and appreciated.

Celebrate National Poetry Month with the Alice Paul Institute's Porch Series Event, Poetry on the Porch on Thursday, April 21. Register today!

The Alice Paul Institute is a not-for-profit 501(c)3 corporation based in Mount Laurel, New Jersey. It was founded in 1984 by a group of dedicated volunteers to commemorate the centennial of Alice Paul's 1885 birth and to further her legacy. The organization was operated by volunteers for more than a decade. Today, four staff members, as well as volunteers, oversee the daily business and special events at Paulsdale.

Ash Wednesday

By Kevin Young
Kevin Young's Ardency: A Chronicle of the Amistad Rebels, is an epic retelling in verse of the mutiny by fifty-three Africans, illegally sold in Havana, on board the slave ship Amistad in 1839.

Ash Wednesday
Once I thought everything
has a soul
Then I learnt only
the fool fears the tree—
It is empty—
So too the wind
that sends it which
way & that—
Now I know God
is such a wind
from which we
are rent—
The heavens take
the tree
from the tree—
leaf by leaf—
Being gone, taken,
is what means Heaven—
It is full—of wings—
A music of what
is missing
since nothing
but men have souls
tho, it appears,
not many.

Heart's Afire

Lost in the dark
night vision doesn’t exist
wishing for a flame
an ephemeral flame
a flicker of light
eyes opened or closed
I see nothing
empty like the hole
I once fell in
I feel nothing
I thirst of you
hydrate my heart
set me on fire
watch me
blaze.

Fitness Journey

There are times
when I feel like giving up
but the desire to excel
overrides all feelings
of surrendering
to the cravings,
binging,
sloth of a life
I once knew
A life
covered with indulgences
spoon feeding myself
medicine called excuses
but really swallowing lies
after lie
I lied
but the mirror
revealed the truth
the catalyst for my
transformation
to take action
to win.

Happy New Year

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."
--Eleanor Roosevelt